It’s been awhile. Actually it’s been months. It’s my habit to start something, go full force and than life takes over. But that’s the problem. I let life take over. I mean work life. Too much work. Not enough life. I spoke to a psychic (I know so 2017) and she noted that the left (work )side of my chart was full. Very full. My right (fun) side? Empty. I mean blank. Nothing. Nada. Continue reading
I was recently at one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve ever been to. Can’t say I’ve been to many but this one was very special. It wasn’t just because it was my son’s but because so much care was put into the entire event. I say event because that is the best way to describe it.
When I first received the itinerary for the day’s schedule I immediately went to the place of “over the top”. Being in the entertainment business I live on schedules especially when I am heading the department. Everyday seems like unending lists of what to do to make the day. So when I looked at the listing of the wedding day I thought it was a bit much.
Everything was planned to the minute including the sparklers at the end of the evening when the bride and groom left to begin their life as a married couple. I have to admit I wondered if all of this was necessary in order to just “get married”.
Boy was I wrong! It was exactly what was needed to make sure everything went smoothly. Was there a few snafu’s in the day? Sure. But nothing big enough to spoil the beauty and happiness that was a constant. The venue was magnificent, the bride stunning, the groom…(well perfection but that’s just me), the music made everyone just have to dance and the send off (yes with the sparklers) was absolutely stunning.
I realized that I have become a cynic to a lot of things in life including rituals. This day made me stop and think about how wonderful even the smallest detail can make such a difference in the way we live our lives.
That tradition is so vital in making me realize that nothing is corny if it makes you happy. Nothing. Kudos to all involved for making those traditions so poignant on such a magical day.
It has been so long since I have written a post. Just felt the need to take a break. Felt I was getting stale and wasn’t into writing. Quite frankly, felt I had lost the desire or love or need or whatever it is when you are afraid it’s just not good enough.
I have the problem a lot in my professional and personal life. Call it what you will it can be maddening or exhilarating depending on how you look at it. Even now as I try to write what I feel I am having a hard time putting into words what my feelings are saying. The conversation never seems to stop in my head.
Yes I have tried meditation numerous times and continue to believe it will help quiet the voices. God knows I’ve practiced enough yoga in the 47 years since I first threw down the mat. I want to be patient, kind and positive in my thoughts. But the search for perfection seeps in and I feel somewhat lost. Not in a I want to jump off a bridge lost but in a I feel blue lost. It’s not all the time and comes and goes. I have times of sheer joy in just being healthy and alive but there are those moments or even days where I wish I was clever enough to write the next great American novel.
You would think with all of the electronic help we have now a days I would be able to google an answer in how to reach perfection. In work. In life. In love. But alas it’s just a computer and doesn’t have the capacity to be human. I am the only one to have that capacity and should revel in the fact that I am able to have the luxury. Regardless of how imperfect it can be at times. Being human can be perfect.