I very rarely get sick. I try very hard to eat well, take my vitamins, practice my yoga, write, meditate, etc. All of the things that are suppose to keep you healthy and stress free. Right. Continue reading
I am feeling grey. Not blue. Grey. Sort of caught in the middle. I guess you might say limbo. I just finished a very intensive project which demanded a lot of my time and energy. I am proud of the way everything looked and felt I gave it my all. I know I could have done things differently and handled things differently but every project brings it’s own challenges and this one was no exception.
But now I have the down time I was wishing for when I was in the middle of the chaos. The time to finally relax and take it easy. Who am I kidding? The voices in my head continue to go at the same speed as they did when I was furiously working. Now that I actually have the time to complete the to do list swirling in my head I can’t seem to get up the strength to do it. Or the desire. And with that comes the guilt. About the next job. About the million things I think I should be doing in order to live the full life everyone keeps telling me I should be living. It’s exhausting!
I am always reading other people’s blogs and articles and books about how important it is to be grateful. I must admit that sometimes I don’t particularly like them. It is usually at a time when something has happened that doesn’t seem fair or necessary to experience in life. Then I start to feel that reading and listening to all this seems ludicrous. It should just be a given.
But my mind is not that clever even at this age and my ego starts to creep into my psych. I make all the excuses of why I should feel sorry for myself and not realize how fortunate I am. After all, I’ve worked hard for what I have. Nothing has come that easily for me. My determination and hard work have made me what I am today.