Change

Nothing is more frightening to me that change. Nothing. And yet I look for it at every turn. I have never had a full-time job in all the years I’ve been in my profession. Six or seven months was probably the longest project I worked on. And I loved it. But recently the change has been more and more in me not my job. I have not been satisfied with what has been around me. I have started to look for silence in a world that seems to be constantly chattering. The verbal, the sound of typing from the computer, the TV, the traffic or whatever it is I am in the middle of at the moment. More and more I am looking toward the sound of my breathing during meditation or yoga. That inner peace that doesn’t want or need to change. Continue reading

Patience

Patience has always been a tough one for me. I mean really tough. Even just getting in a car to drive somewhere can make me crazy. Nothing seems to be moving fast enough. Even with all of the obvious things I’ve done. Meditation, yoga (I mean, forty years of yoga!), running, breathing, listening to music. Even talking to myself. But that voice in my head and the anxiousness in my body sometimes seems to cast all good intentions to the wind. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like being impatient. I don’t like being around me when I lose my patience. I have really tried to understand why I let things get to me. Why all of it should be so important. Why I should be able to see the humor in my silly behavior.
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Discouragement

Even after all these years I still get discouraged when I am ready to go into a new venture. I am a firm believer in reinventing yourself no matter how old you are. I have experienced so many changes with age, some good and some not so good. I think one of the biggest changes is still moving forward even when I’m tired or burned out or insecure. I sometimes think of where I would have been 10 years ago if I had taken another path and then I realize it doesn’t matter. I’m on my path right now and I have to remind myself that this is a perfect time. I look around and see other people doing the same thing or having the same ideas and I worry if there will be a place for me. And then I see someone I haven’t seen in a long time, run the idea by them and realize that I am really unique in my own way. Those years have given me the edge to have experienced more, traveled more, met more people and made the mistakes that I hope will help others avoid.
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