With all that is going on right now in the world, the word start came into mind. I have a lot of time on my hands now that I can’t leave my house. So that voice started telling me to start cleaning your garage and throw out all the makeup items you never use. Start cleaning those closets that have been overlooked for so long. Start organizing your pictures in those boxes (in the garage) and on your computer that you know you have duplicates of but have never taken the time to delete them for fear you will delete all of them.
Wait! This is what is going on in my crazy mind when the world is fighting a pandemic virus? Are you kidding me? No, sad to say I’m not. For the other meaning to start is a sudden movement of surprise or alarm. I don’t know about you but when I am alarmed I tend to play it off and start thinking about all of the things I should be doing. I become more aware of what I’m not doing instead of what I am doing.
I am catching up on my long-overdue reading and believe me, it’s not easy. I get a newspaper every day and have two and three webinars to view on any given day. That’s not including the stack of books I am determined to read before God knows when.
I am determined to start a podcast of my writings but the second meaning becomes very clear why I haven’t. A sudden movement of surprise or alarm. More like an alarm for failing. I have been listening to Mike Dooley who has a three-part webinar entitled The Art of Performing Miracles.
Now before you think I’m going woo-woo on you he does have some very interesting and valuable things to say. When I first saw the email about it I thought, “Oh brother here we go again. Another webinar about changing your life and doing it with their $99.00 program. But it was all free and no sales pitch was attached so I thought, “Maybe this is a good place to start.”
He focused not on the journey but on the outcome. He asked to imagine the end result. To ask yourself what do I really want? He was much like William James, the father of modern psychology. He talked about not wasting time looking down but to look up to move forward. To start and take action. Give myself a deadline and follow what adventure it will take me regardless of the outcome. To just START.
Right now, it can’t be any more unsure than where we are now. I know we will get through this and on the other side. I will have chosen the first meaning of start to realize miracles are invisible until we realize they are possible. Take care of yourself. We need all the miracles we can get.
I’ve always kept this blog title to one word but this is a special occasion. I am very excited to announce my friend’s beautiful book about women not only in their prime but nude. It is a beautiful representation of the strength women have at any age. But these women have lived a number of years and are here to tell the world.
It is refreshing and also incredibly brave for these women to share their beautiful bodies and stories. My friend, Angelika Buettner, a world-class photographer, has captured them in all their glory.
She told me about the project a number of years ago and I agreed to be a part of it not knowing it would turn out to be such a work of art. I was going through a lot of changes when I said yes and posing for her allowed me to free myself in many ways. Seeing it in print made me incredibly proud. I did it. I was brave enough to show myself physically and emotionally in print. I was scared and it was raw. But I am among these strong women. I am so grateful to be able to share the same pages with them.
So in this new year and a new decade, I announce that I Am! It’s been a long road but I’m determined to move through it with strength and grace.
I have been hooked on watching the U.S. Open this past two weeks. There are many new faces, young and hungry. One, in particular, was a 19-year-old Canadian young lady named Bianca Andreescu. She was rated somewhere around 128 when she came into the tournament and just beat Serena Williams, a tennis legend, in the final.
What struck me as being extraordinary about this woman was how calm and focused she was at such a young age. In an interview, she said at the age of 15 she wrote herself a mock check as if she were champion of the U.S. Open and then updated it each year, with the new prize money total.
“Every year,” she said.
And here she was collecting that money for real. Amazing. I can only imagine where she will be in five years. Throughout the match, I watched her parents and was very impressed by how calm they were. They never jumped up and yell and clapped and hollered. They acknowledged her accomplishment and then moved on. It was apparent why their daughter was so calm on the court.
I was inspired but also a little jealous I must admit. I am much older than 19 by a long shot but still haven’t found that inner strength that allows you to believe strong enough to keep pushing through for your dream.
I am trying and am determined not to quit because of some other “obligation.” I have had a stumbling block recently with writing and that little voice of defeat is trying to sneak in and tell me to give up. After all, that voice that lives so deep in me is trying to tell me that I’m not supposed to be a writer. And maybe Bianca Andreescu wasn’t supposed to be a successful tennis player after her many injuries. But here she is the U.S. Open Champion.
I’ll be getting that check for my writing. Let that voice of defeat be still. A 19-year-old did it. Against all odds. Let that be me. Let that be you. The world needs more dreams being met.