Kris Evans – Styled Inside Out

There has been so much written about health that I know this isn’t going to be an easy one. In the past year I have really entrenched myself in my health both mental and physical. I have read numerous books and articles about what to eat, the best exercise and how to deal with the stress of day to day living. I am finally finishing up on the last bit for my yoga teaching certification. It has been a long time coming but, as they say, better late than never.

My body is not the same as it once was. I consider myself in good health but it is nothing of what it use to be. I use to be able to go on no sleep with a somewhat healthy diet and moderate exercise and never miss a beat. I rarely went to the doctor even when I probably should have. But youth makes you think that it’s not going to happen to you and that pain you have in your stomach will just fix itself. Until it becomes an appendicitis. That was when I was sixteen. Went to the hospital and I’m sure, because of my youth, everything went well. I don’t know if I even realized then how serious it could have been but again youth just figures it was a bump in the road for a short time and you move on.

But then at seventeen I got pregnant. There was not a lot of information about birth control and even though there was a sexual revolution no one told me what the repercussions would be if you didn’t use birth control. I know that sounds ridiculous but in 1972 in Cincinnati, Ohio in a catholic Italian family, sex wasn’t something you had conversations about. At least not in my family. He was my first real boyfriend and I thought I was in love and this was the one. Yet again I didn’t think it would happen to me and didn’t really think clearly about what the outcome would be. Back then there were only a few places to go for an abortion and it wasn’t in Ohio. My single mom was so overwhelmed with her own life that this was just one more thing she had to handle. There wasn’t an option, in her opinion, and we went to a clinic in Washington D.C to have it done. Her decision, coming from an Italian catholic, was not taken lightly. I grew up very quickly after that trip. It has stayed with me my entire life and most definitely shaped how I see my son. My physical and mental health went hand in hand and I quickly learned that a rash decision could have major consequences.

I know there are secrets in everyone’s closet especially if they are my age and I’ll bet it has taken it’s toll on their health one way or another. There is no doubt, after that time in my life, it shaped how I viewed life in general. I paid more attention to what my body was telling me whether it was physically or in my mind. I sought help later in life not just because of what had happen when I was seventeen but just because. It didn’t matter. It changed me and how I viewed what I needed to do to get healthy. I’m still trying to find the balance. I’m still trying to quiet the demons and know that the past is just that, the past. But part of getting healthy is also being aware of what is right for me.

So my spiritual health is what is getting me through the days now. I have gotten through the typical and not so typical maladies and come out of it all pretty healthy. I most certainly fall down and eat the wrong thing or don’t exercise when I should but isn’t part of being healthy giving yourself a break every now and then? Just be careful of the consequences. Being healthy is having the knowledge to know the difference.

I don’t always trust my intuition. You know, that gut feeling. That voice that says run in the opposite direction. When your brain starts making excuses and tries to shove “that feeling” out of the way. I consider myself somewhat astute but for some reason when it comes to following my instinct I let my emotions get in the way. I let the outside world enter into my head and start to justify why I should be doing what I am doing.

I’m sure it has something to do with trust. I’ve always had a hard time with trust. As a child you are willing to trust, in fact, you want to trust, but when that trust is abused it’s hard to get it back. It happened to me at an early age. Raised by a single mom who said she didn’t trust anyone, she was just trying to find some way to protect herself. She was alone and scared and too afraid to trust her intuition. It hadn’t worked in the past so she wasn’t going to rely on it when she found herself raising four kids on her own. And the rest of her life she continued to look for that security from the outside world, not from within. I think the world is a different place, especially for women, where opportunities are more prevalent than back then. I would have loved to seen my mom now with her tenacity. I think she would have trusted her instincts more and been happier in her life.

But from her I learned survivor instincts and that has taken me a long way. I was determined to allow myself the opportunity to choose what I wanted to learn and where I wanted to go in my career. That was a sure thing to find my way and my intuition honed in on what I needed to do. I set my sights on where I wanted to be and I knew that if I trusted my instincts it would happen. For the most part it has with a few glitches here and there. And those glitches happened when I didn’t listen to that voice. I stayed in situations testing how long I could flirt with letting my mind make the decision instead of my heart. And I have to say every time I didn’t win.

Now looking back I realize that regardless of how smart we think we are or how much we trust everything is going to work it self out emotions are the only thing we can fall back on. They are the only thing that never lies. People say not to get too emotional about situations but I find that if we really check in on what our emotions are telling us they are right on the money. I know that is a very tricky statement but I have found it, in my life, to be true. Because intuition comes from emotion; that gut feeling. It comes immediately without hesitation. I know it. I feel it. I sometimes just don’t trust it. For me, it has never lied and now I am determined to act on that instinct. Now, more than ever, I am going to trust my intuition, my emotions, to help guide me through my life. It’s certainly not easy. I know I will screw up from time to time but my intuition tells me it’s the only way to live. It’s the only way to really know what it’s like to be free.

I promise I won’t make this blog about how spiritual and loving and magical pets are to us. I think that is a given. Ok, I have purchased the dog sweater at the local garage sale and actually put it on my dog when it has gotten “cold”. In Los Angeles that is all relative. But it makes me smile and she doesn’t seem to mind.

One of the many things I liked and like about my pets was they never had an agenda except to make you happy. Even cats, as aloof as they may seem, have an agenda which includes making us happy. The first pet my husband and I had was Snow, a beautiful, white, blue eyed, deaf Angora Persian. We were living in a loft in NYC inhabited by a plethora of mice and we thought her presence would at least scare them to leave but no such luck. She would sit regally with her front paws crossed and watch as they scurried around our open space.

So we got Boo Boo, a big black and white alley cat with six toes, hence the name, that needed a home and we needed a mouser. She had an agenda to rid us of mice because she was really good at it and because she knew it would make us happy. After the first night the mice knew she meant business and they never returned. That job was done but we loved her and so did Snow, happy to have a partner in crime.

Our third cat, Mink, was found at a backyard party in Brooklyn that feel asleep in my lap. The story was already written after the first few minutes and she became a part of the family. She was a stunning sable colored Burmese, hence the name, and lived up to her decadence. Our loft was also a photo studio and my husband’s photo assistant would carry Mink around like a princess. Mink’s only agenda was to make him and us happy.

We moved to Park City, Utah and our indoor cats became outdoor cats. They never ran away and never, thank God, got eaten. They lived to be at least one hundred by cat years and each one of their losses stayed with us for a long time.

Our son was born in NYC and loved the kitties as much as we did. When they were gone he was still quite young and wanted a dog. We lived in the mountains and needed a dog that understood the territory. Rocky, a rugged Chocolate Lab, came into our lives and captured my heart more than I ever expected. He showed his true heritage around water or snow and was always ready to fetch anything. And his agenda was to make us love a tennis ball or the outdoors even more than we thought possible.

Of course, our son thought Rocky was lonely and needed a buddy. Alexander found Blonde at a shelter or Blonde found him. She was a six month old mutt and had been abused. She was shy and scared and our son was kind of shy so they understood each other. She climbed up into his lap and, like Mink, became part of the family. Blonde would stand beside Alexander and he would rest his hand on her chest.

We moved to LA. Over the years, Blonde stayed the same height but Alexander grew taller and his hand now always rested on her head. When he left for college, Blonde somewhat adapted, but when he came home, we didn’t exist. She slept with him, followed him and stood beside him with his hand gently resting on her head. Not difficult to know what her agenda was for the sixteen years we had her.

I found Lizzy on a commercial. She was a matted, scrappy terrier mix who was frightened but so sweet I just couldn’t help myself. “Fostering” turned into parenting. She slid right into the routine, the other dogs and her new family. Animals are clever like that. They kind of know when it’s time for them to appear. Our other two dogs are gone but Lizzy is a constant reminder of how all of this has come full circle.

Humans have agendas that aren’t always clear and can be hurtful at times because they hurt. They don’t let each other know and sometimes they don’t even know themselves why they do what they do. But animals are very clear in what they need. They know their simple needs of love and nourishment can make even the hardest soul soft. I can’t imagine an agenda more powerful than that.

Author: Kris Evans

Health

Intuition

Pets