Author: Kris Evans

Family

Kris Evans

I’ve experienced two insights this week which are not directly connected but somehow made a statement in their correlation.  I recently finished up a project that had a lot to do with family.  It’s about the odds being stacked against defeat but triumph winning out.  Where the connection of family carries through to help a young lady achieve her dream.  I was fortunate enough to meet the family and see how close they were and how much fun they had with each other.  In knowing their story I’m sure there were times when it all seemed impossible but they pulled through as a family.  Don’t get me wrong.  This journey was not easy and I’m sure there are moments when it’s not as fun as it seemed when I was the observer.  In fact, she wanted to quit because she missed her family and wanted to be with them.  Yes, she is an athlete.  They may be incredibly blessed with talent but most of them, while coming up, are still children.  Their families are what seem to keep them going.  How many times have you seen an athlete thank their mother?

The head of the family is as strong of a woman as you will ever meet.  She raised four beautiful children who are champions in their spirit and their character.  Their sister is the most noticed because of her success but I never felt for one moment any jealousy or anger among her siblings.  They could not have being more humble or more loving.  And when they were all together all they did was laugh!  Their new found success didn’t seem to faze them in the least.  The family unit was so strong that there seem to be a bubble around them to protect them from any harm.  I admired and yes even envied what they all shared with each other.

On the other end of the spectrum I recently experienced the death of a family member.  They were young and kind and also had that spirit of fun and vibrancy.  They were sensitive and wanted to be happy.  They did not live near me and so I wasn’t as intimate as I would have liked to have been. Or I should have been.  Many thoughts  are racing through my head as I look at the family who are so close.  When you are that close you are aware of everything about each other and you are there to help if they cry out.

With my family member I think they needed something more.  Demons can enter the picture that are hard to shake.  Their voices can overshadow the best intentions and cloud reason.  We have yet to determine exactly what causes the demons to exist. We prescribe drugs which seem to help a number of people but not others.  There are those where it’s just too much even with the help.  And there is also a past that is just as troubling.  Some can deal with that past and come through and some cannot.

I don’t know what makes people fight to stay alive and to thrive in the worst situations.  All I know is that when I looked at that family so close I long for one more moment with the person who was taken way too young.  I once heard someone say, “One of the biggest mistakes I have made is not paying attention.”  I feel that’s been one of mine.  Life seems to get in the way and we tell ourselves tomorrow, tomorrow.  Then something like a death that is unexpected and unwanted happens and it all becomes too close, too real and too tragic.

Tomorrow is really today.  I know this may sound trite but make that call you’ve been putting off because of whatever.  It’s not important.  What’s important is now.  As I see it, today is all we’ve really got.

Update

Kris Evans

Update JacarandaAwhile back I wrote about an amazing project in Malawi called the Jacaranda School for Orphans.  It is a place where children have the opportunity to go to school and learn a craft to help them support themselves.  I have a friend who went over and taught some of the women how to do makeup so they would have a trade.  I sent over makeup brushes and makeup for them to have to start their careers.  I just received an update of what is happening and it was not only exciting to see how much they embraced this practice but how I felt being a very small part of it.

I only mention how I felt and how I still feel because it took me by surprise how I reacted.  I saw pictures of the women learning and seeing their beautiful faces after they had the makeup applied to them.  I saw their designated makeup teacher, Tadala, demonstrating what my friend Tracey had lovingly taught her.  I saw the small room where the instruction took place.  Pictures of four women who had received their special make up kits and how they held them so proudly as if someone had given them the crown jewels.

And then I saw on the table my brushes and makeup I had sent and I was overcome with emotion. There was my makeup from a line I had sitting on the table so many miles from my home and being used!   Tears started to flow at realizing how much a few brushes and some makeup can make these women so happy and fulfilled.  One of the women told the school’s owner and founder, Marie Da Silva, how the makeup had made her feel beautiful when she left school.  The picture of her with a big smile meant so much to me.  Right then I felt such a connection with a woman thousands of miles away.  And all of the stories and sayings of how small this world is truly came to light.

The program is so popular that they have to divide the classes to make sure everyone gets the instruction they need.  They are looking to open their own businesses doing makeup.  They are proud that they are creating and at the same time learning a skill that will give them the freedom to choose their future.

What has inspired me about these women and so many like them is that in the midst of what seems to be such a large mountain to scale they find the courage and strength to embrace with dignity the opportunity they have been given.  My day to day makeup tasks are made a bit sweeter knowing that half way around the world women are using my same tools. Tools which were once in my possession are now giving great pleasure and satisfaction to them.  Thank you Tracey for this wonderful opportunity.

 

 

Unsubscribed

Kris Evans

UnsubscribedRecently I find myself unsubscribed in ways I never was before.  The world is moving in a precarious direction in my opinion and somehow subconsciously it is making me a bit unsettled.  I am looking to my future not quite sure in how it is going to unfold.  Things that seemed frivolous are now weighing on me.  I’m not as patient as I would like to be and it’s not because of how other people are behaving.  It’s because I don’t like the doubt in me.  I am unsubscribed in focusing on what I need to do in order to feel centered and in control.  And then I get frustrated because I am trying to become more free.

I want to be free of the need of my self importance in my work and in my life.  I want to be free of the need to justify my talent, my work and my daily decisions in how I behave.  I want to stop engaging  in the gossip and insecurities in myself, in others and in the way our world is spinning.

It hurts when others unsubscribe from whatever it is you are doing.  When they are dismissive or downright uncaring.  And yet I am guilty of doing the same when I feel scared or not understood.  I get my feathers ruffled thinking that my existence is the end all be all.  And then I feel guilty for acting like a spoiled child and try again to be on my best behavior.

It seems to me that because we are exposed to a tremendous amount of information via internet and the like that so much knowledge about every detail whether we want to know or not is causing people to unsubscribe back.  Somewhat of a passive aggressive behavior.  Smiling through the behavior of anger and frustration and most of all fear.  I get angry of not being able to control certain things so I say to myself, “I’ll show them!” while I’m eating something I shouldn’t eat or not practicing what I should be practicing for my well being.  I am unsubscribing thinking that will make me feel better.  And in the end it just doesn’t.

In the end I need to go back to looking at how beautiful the day is with the leaves changing and the crisp smell of autumn in the air.  With that simplicity I realize that the only way to survive is to subscribe.  For whatever that is and however it turns out.  That the only way to move forward and be successful in my mind of being happy is to subscribe to life as it comes. I am determined to not let my subscription run out.