handsparis“It’s not easy being grateful all the time.  But it’s when you feel least thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you.”  Oprah

I have to admit I find myself at times feeling sorry for myself.  Putting myself in the “what if” category of all of the things I aspire to and haven’t gotten.  Seeing myself in scenarios of how my life would be different or even better if certain things would happen.  Getting the job I am hoping for or having my business succeed or even something as superficial as fitting into my pants with room to spare.  The small victories and the large battles won that would make my life so much better.

And then I realize I need to be more grateful.  I need to realize how amazing my life has been.  How even though things have not always gone the way the script in my mind has written it the outcome has far exceeded the expectation.  There will always be someone who seems to have more whether that be money, success or just more confidence to follow their dreams.  Sometimes I find I am envious that they have the strength to go full out for what they want.  They have taken the chance to put themselves out there whether or not it will be accepted as “sane”.

I have taken chances that were very promising and the real mistake I made was not taking that chance but knowing when it wasn’t going to happen.  The voice that I at times dismissed was yet again right and defiant in telling me.  The “trust your gut” yet came to the forefront and smacked me upside the head.  When it happened I was not grateful.  Not for the lessons learned.  Not for the opportunities, it gave me.  And not even for the friendships I made in the process. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.

But then time passed and I came out of it much wiser.  And as painful as it was that wisdom has taught me lessons of moving on in my life.  I see warnings signs I wouldn’t have seen before had I not had the experience.  Ah, gratitude for the experience!  Gratitude for being smarter next time whatever the choice I make. Gratitude for having a family that is healthy. Gratitude for having my health even after a bout with cancer. And gratitude that I am cancer free.

In these times when it seems like everything is going awry, what are you grateful for right now? It could be as small as reading a good book or as profound as finding out you’re cancer free. Take a moment out of the day to remind yourself that we truly are responsible for our destiny depending on our gratitude.