As I await my trip to Bali I decided to go to Vancouver for a week and check out what my options would be if I decided to live in Canada. I love Vancouver for the mountains, the ocean and the laid back feeling of the city. My friend and I have been taking walks along the sea everyday and watching the trees change minute by minute. The weather has been kind and the sunsets magnificent. The smell of the sea air here is much different than in Los Angeles. I can feel the nip in the autumn air and I realize why I love an obvious change of seasons so much. Even this picture feels somber awaiting the winter snowfall. I love it. Some people may think it depressing but I welcome the feeling of change in me anticipating the inevitable.
We decided to take a drive up to Whistler as I had never gotten a chance to visit. The beauty of going somewhere without working is that you can come and go as you please. Usually I feel guilty if I am not working or have my family with me to justify my trip but I am trying to alleviate the feeling and just enjoy myself. Funny how difficult it is to really relax when you have always put others first. This is a new choice for me to do things just for me and I have to admit it is getting easier the more I do it.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t wake up in the middle of the night sometimes worrying about what the future will hold. But as I’ve said before the greatest lesson to learn when changing is to trust a power higher than you to know it will work out exactly the way it should. Trust has always been an issue for me and as much as I would like to tell myself I’m getting better, my past will sneak in every now and then to doubt the person or the situation.
My friend, her beautiful daughter and I had a lovely day in Whistler. It was more built up than I would like to have seen but wonderful all the same. We strolled through a farmer’s market and stopped by the local bakery in Squeamish (on the way to Whistler) to get some goodies for the Canadian Thanksgiving that was this weekend. The bakery was run by a family and had some of the most delicious sweets I had tasted in a long time. I don’t know if it was the fact that it was made by the people in the shop or whether I was enjoying the fact that I was in a smaller town surrounded by beautiful nature.
I’m not saying that there aren’t wonderful places in bigger cities but the sheer size of the shop reminded me yet again of what we seem to be losing in our lives. The drive to Whistler was a reminder of how vast our world can be and how beautiful it is when left to its own beauty. Where everything has remained the same for years and years. I am guilty of enjoying the convenience of a coffee shop that is familiar to me or a grocery store that stocks my favorite crackers. There is something to be said for feeling safe in the known.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that even at my age it would be much easier to stay where I am and live my life in the expected. I was hoping that with all I have done in my life it would be a given to constantly stir the familiar pot and not be so tentative. One of the only things I purchased in Whistler was a cup of espresso from the same coffee shop I always go to wherever they exist which is in a lot of places. Old habits die hard. I go along and think I’m being brave. Then it takes a trip to Whistler to realize I’m pretty vulnerable but determined to put my toes in the uncharted waters to still feel alive.
On to Bali…