kris-alexOk, let’s talk about age.  I mean really talk about age.  So many articles are written about how to look and feel younger.  How to defy what happens to us as we grow older.  What vitamins to take, what water to drink, what food to eat, what doctor to see, what retirement plan to look for in order to be taken care of when “the time comes.”

Wow, I feel dead already!  I am certainly not ready to call it a day but it seems everywhere we look there is a message about growing older.  So I’m not able to stand for 14 hours anymore without my back hurting but does that mean I should be put out to pasture?  Our society here in the United States seems to have the Benjamin Buttons syndrome.  Let’s be born old but God forbid let’s not die old!  Let’s go back to our youth so that we can understand things at a young age that we couldn’t possibly understand then.

I don’t know if I would have wanted all that information when I was young.  It was tough enough just being able to make sure I was liked and got my homework done and I was able to be in the high school variety show.  Now that seems so easy but back then it was life or death.  I was able to put so much weight on the most trivial things and my excuse was I was young and just going through a phase.

So why now that I’m a responsible adult who has been through a lifetime of experiences, can I not say I’m going through a phase? Why can’t I express my opinion and be able to react in a certain way when I see someone not being nice or respectful not just because of my age but just because it’s the right thing to do.

When I was younger we had to call everyone older than us (my parent’s age) Mr and Mrs out of respect.  Don’t expect that now but would like everyone regardless of age to take a moment and just enjoy each other.  No agenda, no Facebook page, no twitter remark.  Just good old fashion conversation.  Call me crazy but I still like to talk on the phone and hear people’s voices.  I prefer to tell them I’m sorry in person or on the phone instead of emailing.  I still like sending thank you cards when someone invites me to their home for dinner or give my homemade candles to people just because I like to give them gifts.  No reason.  It just makes me feel good and hopefully makes them feel good too.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I am certainly no saint.  I lose my temper in traffic and get impatient when things don’t go the way I wish they would.  I’m really trying not to let things get to me.  But when my feelings get hurt I still act like a wounded child even though at my age I should know better.  Emotions are timeless and regardless of how much we can read or practice yoga or meditate hurt is hurt and it’s tough not to be affected by it.

So now  I find myself taking more deep breaths and trying to let it go.  Still wakes me up at night (I could say it’s hormones…so much easier but it really is the combination of hormones and hurt and fear).  I look good for my age (so I’m told) and regardless of how I can pretend I don’t care and will be happy no matter what happens, I do care.  I care for my own sense of self.  I care because I don’t want to give up on loving life.  I want to use my experiences as a gauge of what I don’t know and how every day I want to learn more.

They say age is a state of mind.  Well, tell the body that because my body is not what it use to be.  I still exercise, take my vitamins and dress up.  I will continue to go on trying to make my style inside and out ageless.   Take that brave new world!