I love and hate errands. I know I have to get things done when my free time is so limited but I hate the thought of leaving my apartment after working long hours all week. I am from the old school of making lists on a notepad. I know it’s the way of the caveman or woman but I can’t break habits that have worked for most of my life.
The computer and cell phone have helped but I still resort to a notepad and pencil. Not even a pen. Pencil works for me. Helps me to clean up without the confusion. Much like life. Sometimes I wish I had a huge pencil with an even bigger eraser that I could move things around or just eliminate all together but that’s for another blog.
I feel good when I mark things off my list like I’ve actually moved on with my life and made everything seem organized and in place. Ok, who am I kidding? The things on my list are made up of groceries, paying bills, emails for the job, laundry, phone calls and anything else I can think of that I feel the need to address at that moment.
There are things that go on my list but seem to move from week to week. Things that are long term and most of the time not very pleasant. They take time and lots of attention and energy. However they are the things that wake me up at night nagging me to get finished. They are the things that tell me I need to move on with my life regardless of how painful or lonely it will be.
The biggest errand and the most profound one is to tell myself that this errand is in my best interest and in the long run will clear the way to move on in a way that I haven’t been doing. I’ve been moving it from list to list week to week. Being tired is a great excuse for not doing that errand. Doing busy work like groceries and paying bills and laundry are the quick fixes in making me feel like I am moving on.
But to really feel like I am running that errand on a more metaphysical level I have to realize that without facing it I will never finish. And that unfinished errand will keep me from happiness.