I have been listening to the lectures of Echardt Tolle and am amazed at how simple and yet how complex his teachings are. I was especially intrigued and confused by his ideas of the stillness of our minds and the importance of finding the spaces between the words.
Now in my busy and ever chatting mind that seemed almost too surreal for me to grasp. He speaks with a direct and methodical way that is both enchanting and hypnotic. And, for the most part, totally unreachable for me right now. I think I have grasped the concept, try it and realize how difficult it can be.
I know I have a tendency to belabor explanations when I am trying to get a point across. I keep repeating myself to make sure that I am being totally understood. A bad habit for me as it can make people restless and annoyed. Many times I am not even aware of what I am doing. It’s not that I think they don’t understand it’s that I am trying to convince myself that I have it right.
I started to think about those spaces in between my explanations that may help in slowing me down and only repeating myself once. I find I want to explain myself to the world. To make what I do matter not just to others but especially to myself.
What I discovered was how much I judged myself and how little I really trusted that what I have to say had meaning. Or that it may have enough value for people to even spend their time listening. Insecurity raises it’s ugly head and the child in me says, “Look at me! Look at me!” Echardt Tolle is trying to say that we are enough. That the silence between those words or even silence itself is enough.
And in that thought a deep emotion comes over me that makes me sad and hopeful at the same time. To quote Echardt from his book Stillness Speaks , “When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world. Your innermost sense of self, of who you are, is inseparable from stillness. This is the I Am that is deeper than name and form.”
I am striving to believe one finds there is no judgement of whether I am good enough but rather that stillness is enough to discover how valuable what I say can be if I come from I Am.