Styled Inside OutI always liked that word. Tribes. Better than groups. Better than a clan. Maybe I just like the sound. It has a nice ring to it. Seems like it is more cohesive than the others. It’s hard to find the right tribe. The one that will support you but not baby you. That will be kind but be honest. That will be there even when it may be unpleasant. Will love you and laugh with you no matter what.

In this day of electronic devices, it’s hard to find a tribe that isn’t constantly looking at their texts or listening to their voice mails or checking their facebook page. As I wrote earlier I got myself into trouble pressing the wrong button and sending something else for everyone to see. I was embarrassed but more importantly angry at myself for getting sucked into all of the hoopla.

But I digress…Tribes. I’m so busy with work and family I have not been with a group of friends especially women in way too long. I long to get together and throw it down! To laugh and share our lives. I have tried very hard to have my tribe be made up of people I aspire to be. It seems I can find many who are looking for excuses to not really live life to the fullest. It’s easy to find reasons why things aren’t what they would like it to be. It really does take constant work to tell yourself that things can be better. There are better ways to deal with dilemmas and that it is our responsibility to make it happen.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am so guilty of this behavior. I would much rather go to my story that I have used so many times when I don’t want to face what the real reason is which keeps me from moving forward. It is my way to get the attention I always was desperate for. And I was very clever and knew exactly what story to use. Still, do it. But now I catch myself midway and correct myself. People in the tribe who are the right ones are the ones that know exactly what you are doing. They let you go on just to see how long it will take for you to discover your drama and why you are going in that direction. Gotcha!

The tribe I am comfortable with now doesn’t have to be constantly talking. They feel completely content with silence. When we are on a hike they are as content as I am to just listen to the sounds of the wilderness. I am constantly in makeup trailers where the chatter is relentless and so I thrive on that quiet. It is perfectly normal for the trailer to be that active. I’d be worried if it wasn’t. It is a safe place where everyone can meet and greet before we go out into the world of make-believe. That’s my work tribe. And they are as vital to me as my play tribe. Sometimes they intermingle which makes my work even sweeter.

Our style is very similar in my tribe and so we are constantly asking about where they got all of the fabulous things for their style. My tribe is comfortable with their style which makes the latest sale or discovery even more exciting.

Women can be so good at putting together their tribe. I think it’s hard to mix gender in tribes. Then they are called relationships and I find that is something altogether different. That will be left for another time.

So, have you found your tribe? Lately, life has challenged a number of my tribe and I find it so wonderful to be able to be the one to really listen and hopefully offer them solace. God knows they have given it to me.

I encourage you to put together your tribe if you haven’t already. The years really brings us closer to each other and when life deals you a sour hand, which inevitably it does, that will be your lifeline.