Author: Kris Evans

Backtrack

Kris Evans 0 Comments

BacktrackI am feeling grey.  Not blue. Grey.  Sort of caught in the middle.  I guess you might say limbo.  I just finished a very intensive project which demanded a lot of my time and energy.  I am proud of the way everything looked and felt I gave it my all.  I know I could have done things differently and handled things differently but every project brings it’s own challenges and this one was no exception.

But now I have the down time I was wishing for when I was in the middle of the chaos.  The time to finally relax and take it easy.  Who am I kidding?  The voices in my head continue to go at the same speed as they did when I was furiously working.  Now that I actually have the time to complete the to do list swirling in my head I can’t seem to get up the strength to do it.  Or the desire.  And with that comes the guilt.  About the next job.  About the million things I think I should be doing in order to live the full life everyone keeps telling me I should be living.  It’s exhausting!

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Hacked

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HackedMy mother, many years ago, told me that time goes much faster as you get older.  I didn’t quite understand what she was getting at then but I do now.  It’s been three weeks since my last post and I can’t believe the time has gone by so quickly.  My computer was hacked and I lost everything from my blog.  Which means I had to go back to square one and redesign the site.  I am nowhere near a computer wiz so it was daunting for me when thinking about starting over.

I knew I had to wait until this project was over to really give my full attention to writing.  It has been challenging some weeks to sit down, clear my mind and write.  It has also been my salvation.  In one sense, three weeks have flown by.  And yet it feels like forever since I have written.  Guilt has slipped in a number of times when another week rolls around and I have sat at my computer only to write emails and organize the next week’s work.
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Complacency

Kris Evans 0 Comments

Being very tired tends to make me complacent.  My head is clouded with everything needed to be done.  Mind you, I am the one who has put the pressure on myself but after so many years it’s difficult to just let things go.  I am afraid that if I get too complacent I will watch my life go by and not do everything I think I want to do.  I find myself reading all of these sayings or quotes about how I should be living my life and after a while it gets quite overwhelming.

I know people who live their lives very content being complacent about everything and it doesn’t seem to bother them.  I guess it depends on what you think complacent means.  The dictionary (I love using that term even though we no longer physically use a dictionary!) says that complacency is a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.
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