I have tried to avoid this subject but after reading a very poignant article entitled “Modern Love” written by a sophomore in college I felt I had to address it because it has been one of my pet peeves for quite awhile. Modern technology. Now I am as guilty as the next when I say my life and my work have become much easier with the cell phone, the computer, the Ipad, texting, etc.
Years ago when I was in an airport or on the street and desperately needing to contact someone it sometimes became a big deal to find a phone or the change to make that call when it is so easy now to text. But with all of that I think other problems come into play.
Getting back to Jeremy, this young woman was in what she calls an “arm-length” relationship where there could be no drama. Or so it seemed. That relationship which remains between a friend and a boyfriend, often for years. They met when they were young and would continue to communicate over the years, rarely in person and mostly through texting or Facebook. She cared deeply for him but was caught between making him her friend instead of a boyfriend so that she would not be rejected if he wasn’t interested. However, her decision kept her in an emotional limbo. We all have our Jeremys whether it be a relationship with a person or a relationship with life.
My point is they didn’t really speak to each other enough to actually know whether or not they connect. I bring this up because the lack of human communication, i.e. the human voice, seems to be alluding us not only in my generation but also in the present generation. That is, the future. No one seems to really talk to each other anymore. It’s emails or texts but no real hash out conversations if things aren’t peachy keen.
Want to break up with someone or tell someone off? Text them. It relieves you of the the uncomfortable feeling of the confrontation. But does it really help in the end? I know there were times when I needed some information from someone and asked them to call me. But instead they insisted on texting which sometimes takes twice as long as if they just picked up the phone and spoke to me. I like talking to the person on the phone. I like the human contact. Sometimes it isn’t comfortable. Sometimes it would be more comfortable to not talk. But I find ultimately the sound of their voice and the human connection makes me emotionally feel more connected whether it turns out positive or not.
This also pertains to meeting someone for dinner. Rarely will there be a dinner where the phone doesn’t come out for a text or a picture or a “selfie”. Ok, so I sound irritated by it all. I just think that we are missing each other on a very basic level by not giving each other our full attention. I remember a time where there wasn’t all of the distractions and we enjoyed each other without having to rely on outside stimulation.
Finally the article brought back the fact that we tend to dance around situations in our life without being honest with where we really are. And I feel like all of these distractions have made it easier to check out of life. So my Jeremy in life seems to be making a conscious effort to be honest and open. Then hopefully the limbo I sometimes find myself in becomes heaven for knowing I have faced the truth.
Now let me get back to the six weeks of New York Sunday Times I haven’t read because I’ve been on the computer. Lesson learned.